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Tamara Kissane December 2, 2005 - 10:36am. |
Dear Tamara,
I know that networking is important, but I really find it difficult to speak with strangers. Do you have any networking tips for shy people?
I'm shy too, so I can empathize with your distress. There are a couple of tricks that I've learned to make the experience more comfortable for myself. Hopefully they'll help you too.
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- Choose your first contacts wisely. Start your networking process with people you already know well or people you don't know as well, but would sincerely like to know better. When networking, many people forget to include their family, friends and acquaintances and instead jump right into cold calling. Friends, family members, and acquaintances will be more receptive to your contact, and more willing to help you right away. After you've conducted some informational interviews with those folks, start branching out to the people they know well (people who are guaranteed to be friendly). Ask your Aunt Margaret to introduce you to her friends at a party, make a few calls on your behalf, or even attend a lunch with you and the person she knows. Aunt Margaret can act as a bridge in your networking experience.
- Ease into the event. Your first contact can be via email so you have time to think and revise what you'd like to say. After an email exchange, you'll want to set up a phone call or in-person meeting for the informational interview. Schedule that call or meeting ahead of time so you can prepare. If you plan to meet in person, you might suggest meeting for coffee or lunch so you don't need to sit in their office facing them across your desk. A more informal setting might be more comfortable. As a side note, think about what you will eat or drink before your order it. No French onion soup, crumbly bread, gigantic sandwiches, alcohol, spaghetti, or anything else that could be a distraction and possibly embarrass you.
- Practice makes perfect. Before the meeting or phone call, practice what you plan to say about yourself and prepare a list of questions for the other person. If you are extremely nervous or if you don't have experience speaking with people on the phone, I suggest that you practice what you plan to say out loud. Find a friend who'll act as your networking contact and tell him/her your little spiel and some of the questions that you plan to ask. I've even practiced saying things out loud to myself in the mirror. Getting the words in your mouth and hearing yourself say them will help you to with recall when you are 'in the moment.'
- Be prepared. The boy scouts are right on this one: research the company and the career field so that you come to the meeting with some solid information. Preparation tends to make people more comfortable and confident. When you are speaking with your networking contact over the phone, you can have a list of questions, your resume, and anything else that will help you in your conversation right in front of you. If you meet in person and you can't remember what you want to talk about, it's absolutely ok to pull out a small and neat list of the questions you have. The other person will be impressed at your preparation and you will make sure that you do not forget your most important questions.
- Keep in touch and nurture the relationship. If you continue to keep in touch with your networking contacts, there will come a point when you know them well enough that you won't be nervous.
- Remember that networking is an enjoyable experience for the other person. I think that job searchers get stuck on the idea that they are bugging people or using them in some way. For informational interviews and informal networking events, you are only asking for someone else's time (and usually a small amount of it). Most people are willing and happy to take twenty minutes out of their lives to speak to you. If they are too busy, they will let you know. Also, most people are willing and happy to talk about themselves and to give advice it makes them feel good that someone else (you) thinks they have an interesting job at a cool company and that they are helping someone else (you) succeed. Keeping that in mind might help you relax a little.
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