Summer Chic Lit: Diary of a Breakup, Chapter 8

Want to get caught up on past entries in Jade's diary? Read chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.

Dear Diary,

Before going to bed I checked my cell for my text messages. I only had one from Denise that read: LMAO!!!! I’m still laughing my A** off. Well done. Been wondering where you are, but I think I know…LOL…give me a call when you can. I did not find it surprising that no one from the Magnificent Seven called or sent me a text. It is understandable. No one wants to be caught in the middle. No one wants to choose sides. Instead they all scatter hoping none of the pieces from this blow up land on them.

The Monday and Tuesday after my weekend of revenge and recovery was spent in a haze. I would catch myself giggling when I recalled the look in Michelle’s fake hazel eyes after I threw my drink in her face. She always did think she was queen of the club as well as the campus. It was totally fitting to knock her cubic zirconia crown off her head in one of her alleged throne rooms. Then my thoughts would drift over to Tyriq. He was always the most stable force in our group, very reserved and introspective. Before the seven of us connected, I really didn’t know him all that well. I would see him around campus. We would exchange head nods, then go about our way. Now I could see why Michelle was attracted to him, although they are totally incompatible. He has a tender side to him that I have never experienced with any man.

When Justin and I first met, it was constant fireworks. It was fresh and exciting. Tyriq seems to be the calm in the middle of my storm. He has texted me everyday to ask me about my day and to make sure I’m feeling better and getting stronger. He was hurt in all this too, but he never talks about his pain. He seems content with making sure that I’m healing. Maybe it helps him with his healing process. I don’t know. All I know is he makes a woman feel taken care of without seeming needy, and at this point that seems heaven sent to me.

I kept thinking about the firm yet gentle way in which he held my arm at the club, the energy that I felt when I sat on his lap that I passed off as mere drunkenness, and his moist lips kissing my forehead. I would begin to think about his round bright eyes, wide smile, and how his five o’clock shadow made him look very distinguished. Then I would recall how he stroked the top of his head while he was driving me home and how we were doing dumb dances in the car while flipping the stations. I would have to stop myself and shake it off. No, I mean literally shake off the feeling like a wet dog trying to shake itself dry. I believe they call this obsessing.

After three solid days of obsessing over my wonderful healing session/weekend I spent with Tyriq, I finally called Denise and asked her to come over. She is the only friend that I have that is not connected to the Magnificent Seven. Her objective advice is critical, especially now that I must plan my strategy on how to deal with Justin from now on. The club was just the first blow. Besides, that strike was towards Michelle. The next blow will be towards Justin. Charging his credit card for a dress that I threw away due to the stench of vomit doesn’t really count. I must strike at his heart as he did with me. The final blow will be towards them both. Only then will I feel complete.

I told Denise about my weekend and confessed all about my reoccurring thoughts with the look of a schoolgirl confessing to the teacher that she stole the apple from the desk. Denise knew by my look and words that my thoughts were betraying me. I was starting to feel a little different towards Tyriq, lord knows I didn’t want to, but I was. Denise smiled.

“I knew something was up when I didn’t hear from you and you didn’t return my text until Wednesday. Tyriq is cute and seems nice. All I can tell you is there seemed to be chemistry there. I know I was laughing my ass off and all, but you also know I pick up on everything.”

“What do you mean De De? Explain this one.” My face became serious. I hate to be figured out.

“It was the way he looked at you when he grabbed your arm,” she replied, “And the way you guys looked at each other when I said I was going to go home. It seemed like you guys were slightly happy that I bowed out.”

“That is so not true. I think there is a connection because we have both been hurt and we understand each other’s pain.”

“Could be. All I’m saying is that there is chemistry a brewin’. And like you said, both of you have been hurt. Suffice to say you are both vunerable. Just be sure that you don’t get caught up.”

Denise was right. I must safeguard myself and tread lightly. We have both been hurt. Tyriq was with Michelle for six months. I thought Justin and I would be married after we graduated. All I dreamed about was being Mrs. Justin Gardner. Then our first and last initial would be the same. I even had the wedding planned down to the final detail as well as our two honeymoon spots picked out.

Although Michelle and Tyriq were not together as long, I know Ty was trying to give his heart to her. Anyone could tell that just by looking in his eyes when she would walk into a room. It was a look of pride and reverence. A look Justin used to give me--that was how I knew what it was. He had stopped looking at me in that way when we first formed the group. In the end, it really doesn’t matter how long you have been with a person when you have completely given yourself and have been heartbroken. Hurt is hurt and it takes a while to heal. Ty and I will have to keep this in mind.

The look for Saturday was a no-brainer. Usually I planned ahead for dates choosing outfit, shoes, and accessories by the venue I was going to. This time was different--I wasn’t going out on a date. Tyriq and I were just going to see Hostel 2 in the city. I was just hanging with my homie, and that is what I told myself until I really believed it. To ensure no mixed signals were thrown out there I wore baggy jeans, my NYU t-shirt, and white Nikes. I toned my face down by putting on moisturizer, mascara, eyeliner, and my favorite Philosophy lip balm that smells like lemons. Usually I go all out, but it wasn’t a date so I didn’t have to. However, ashy is never a good look. I was literally fresh and clean. I considered wearing a hat, but decided that would be going a little overboard on the casual friend look so I opted to do my hair instead.

Ty offered to come and pick me up, but I told him I would catch the train into the city. After all, this is not a date. I met him in front of the Manhattan Mall on 33rd Street in Midtown. I ended up having to wait since I arrived first. Oddly enough, guys were still trying to kick it to me. They tried to rap to me on the street and on the train ride over. I gave two guys my number simply because I was bored and had nothing to do. I promised myself that after the breakup with Justin that I would no longer do that. What can I say--old habits die hard.

After standing there for what seemed to be infinity, I saw him walking to meet me. He was dressed all in Diesel. I liked it…I liked it a lot. I sort of felt like a hobo considering I tried very hard not to look too feminine. I thought he would be on the same vibe as me but he wasn’t. He looked yummy with a fresh haircut and trim to match. His eyebrows looked waxed and framed his puppy dog eyes perfectly. We greeted each other with a big hug.

“You ready to do this,” he asked flashing me with a huge grin.

“Let’s do this,” I said grabbing his arm.

We walked with our arms linked to his car. Like a true gentlemen he opened the car door for me. I know this wasn’t a date, but that move made it feel like one. Justin never did that for me. I returned the favor by opening the car door for him. Hell, I remember what Sonny said in A Bronx Tale, and I am not a selfish chick. Ty told me that he had already pre-ordered the tickets online. I thought that was extremely nice. I reached in my purse to give him my ticket money. He pushed my hand away saying, “Cut it out.” On the way to the movie theater he covered my hand with his. I could feel his warm, comforting vibes seep into my skin. I kept saying to myself, “Jade, this is not a date.”

We locked arms as we walked to the movie theater, picked up the tickets, and bought the popcorn and ices. He was gracious enough to let me pay for that. We locked arms until we took our seats. The movie was just as gory as the first. We loved it. During the movie I put my head on his shoulder. Just as soon as I did it, I quickly sat erect again fearing I had gone too far. Then I thought to myself, putting my head on his shoulder should be fine. I placed my head back on his shoulder, and clenched his hand during the killing scenes.

After the movie Ty refused to take no for an answer and drove me home. We talked and joked about the movie on the way back to Jersey. He pulled into my driveway and turned off the ignition. We sat in silence with our heads against the cushions and smiled. We smiled a very peaceful smile. The kind that comes only after you have returned from taking an unexpected trip down to Hades for an undetermined stay not knowing when daylight would shine on your face again. The kind of smile that comes when you truly appreciate the rays the sunlight gives.

After a few minutes I broke the potential spell brewing in the car by saying good night. I gave him a hug and attempted to kiss him on the cheek. He placed his gentle and firms hands on the sides of my face and said “NO.” He then reached in and kissed me on the lips. It was delicious…moist and passionate. Suddenly I felt as if I was in a Pringles commercial because I couldn’t stop. Neither could he. He placed his fingers in my hair and grabbed the back of my head. I grabbed his face. We went back and forth kissing until my lips vibrated.

The steps I took up the driveway were airy. I bounced on the balls of my feet into the house, up the stairs, and into my room. As soon as I closed the room to my door Tyriq sent me a text: Transformers on Friday??

I responded: Works for me!

I had promised to call Denise to fill her in on the details, but I decided to keep my news to myself for a little while. I didn’t know what to make of us kissing in the car. I decided to go to bed early and fell asleep rubbing my lips. I was falling deeper into the rabbit hole. What am I going to do?

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