The Day after the One Night (A Man's Thoughts)

As I write this, I can imagine most of the female student body is wondering: “If I have a one night stand, will he think I’m a slut?” Truth is, 7 times out of 10, he won’t, depending on how you carry yourself. (He might tell his friends you are, but, that’s another blog for another month…)

"Slut": a pejorative term for a person (usually female) who is more sexually promiscuous than is deemed socially acceptable. – Wikipedia.org

There’s no “slut-scale” (that I know of anyway), so it’s impossible to rate a women’s promiscuity. Thankfully, my gender simplifies the process of sex into two categories: easy and other.

Yes, you’ve had a one night stand*, but, that doesn’t mean you’re a slut. Just like drinking with your friends doesn’t make you an alcoholic. “The Day after the One Night” reputation is not determined by the what – it’s the how.

Let’s say you and this guy meet at a house party. You’ve talked most of the night and shared a few laughs. He is both intelligent and sincere – two qualities that go well with his charm and boyish good looks. The night ends with a long and in-depth “conversation” that lasts until morning. In my book, you’re not a slut because the process wasn't too easy. Most men would agree.

Okay, so now you and a different guy meet at a different house party. He’s perfect physically, and nothing else matters. The next morning, after a few raunchy flirtatious comments, you end up searching for your undergarments behind the bedpost. In my book, you're a woman who knows what she wants. Most men would agree… and think you’re a slut.

Throughout my life I’ve had a council of strong independent women. They often overstepped the lines that society defined a woman. My mother advanced in corporate America, solely based on her work and merit. I’ve seen the best basketball playing women mop the floor with the best basketball playing men. I’ve also been treated to a few dates by some independent women. So my book is based on past a wide array of experiences and I might be a little biased. But, this is my book - not America’s.

Never fret, there is hope! If you don’t want to be a “slut” after the one night, make the events leading up to the deed include conversation and genuine interest. Basically, we enjoy the thrill of the hunt like those jaguars on Animal Planet: we might be fast, but we still love a good chase. If it’s easy, you’re “easy”.

Men, too, have desires and urges (every 10 seconds) and it takes two to tango! So, if having a one night stand makes you any less of a woman, regardless of social structure, then your “Mr. Right-Now” is less of a man. The chances are he’s not thinking you’re a slut, he’s just happy he had a great night.

*And this relates to sober one night stands. If you and Captain Morgan decided to try the motion in his ocean, the “I’m not a slut” ship might have sailed.

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