Sadly, Coffee Proven NOT to be the Ultimate Hangover Cure

December. What a fabulous month. There's Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, and all sorts of fun-filled holiday activities in between. We get anywhere from three weeks to a full month off from school, and we get to spend time with friends and family. Mom does the laundry, dad roasts a turkey, and grandma can’t help but overwhelm us with gifts. And after all that clebrating, no one can remember how many wine spritzers Aunt Barbara drank, or how many shots cousin Johnny actually did before he puked his guts out.

And then we all wake up on New Year's Day a little worse for wear. Full, but hungry. Excited, but exhausted. Hot, but cold. Aching, but jittery. This, my dear, is what we call a hangover. And, yes. It has happened to you. We are all guilty of it. So what do we all think is the best remedy? Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! We go to the Starbucks (which is probably 10 steps away from any given house), and order a venti mocha, non-fat, one pump, one splenda, cappuccino in hopes that we will feel well enough to get ourselves all dolled up to see an old high school crush. But does it actually reduce the hangover? Sadly, not so much.

Coffee is actually not a good way to overcome a serious hangover because it can lead to poor decision-making.  We all assume that because we're tired and out of it, coffee will put a pep in our step and get us moving again. This is sorta true, but not really. It may wake you up, but it won’t make you sober.  This may lead you to think you're totally fine to drive, speed down an icy road, or spend three hours on the elliptical when you haven't worked out in six months (hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time, right?).

Depending on how much you drank, you may still be a little drunk the next morning and be incapable of making good decisions.  In a recent study, researchers compared the behavior of drunken mice to that of mice given a saline solution, and tested their ability to learn a maze filled with lights and sound distractions. To no surprise, the drunken mice did poorly. After both mice were given about 8 ounces of coffee, the only positive affect was a decrease in anxiety. In other words, coffee won’t help you overcome the affects of alcohol, it will just make you more chill about the fact that you're out of it.

So how can you help fight a nasty hangover the morning after? Drink plenty of water or sugar-free energy drinks (Gatorade works in a pinch), eat bland foods such as bread and crackers, and take a lot of Vitamin B. Or there's always Option B: Don't be stupid and drink that much that begin with.

 

-- By Erin McClary

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